Written by Mo Matautia-Tepania, I Have A Dream Charitable Trust NZ
Ko Whakararā ko Matakā ngā maunga
Ko Taumarere te awa
Ko Mātaatua te waka
Ko Hiruhārama hou ko Te Tāpui ngā marae
Ko Ngāti Rēhia, Ngāti Kura, Te Iva ngā hapu
Ko Ngāpuhi ko Hāmoa ngā iwi
Ko Mo Matautia-Tepania tōku ingoa
I came home emotionally spent, surprisingly content, lovingly overwhelmed, awe-inspired yet hugely excited for more, from the first Retreat. I'll admit though, I savagely emptied out a lot of emotional baggage and trauma over those three and a half days—and really needed to. The emotional journey that came to mind when describing the experience to my whānau was 'confronting, profound, enlightening, certainly emotional, intimidating, humbling, connectedness, loving' and all the beautiful trimmings that went along with those moments. I felt different. I took away that I may not necessarily need changing but more unlocking what is already there, and overcoming some insecurities and doubts in myself. I'm so ready to embrace the journey.
For me the special whakatau from Matua Bobby and the LNZ team instantly set the tone for the day ahead. I went in with open arms, an open heart and an open mind. My nerves were under control, but my anxiety was heightened. The energy was amazing from everyone around me, so I went with that and let it lead me into each activity. It led me through the rest of the retreat too and I allowed myself to embrace each challenging moment, each unknown moment and each vulnerable moment.
The guest speakers were 'wow'. Even though I was emotionally tired, I was dumbfounded by their stories and by what they had achieved in their careers and experiences. They shared so openly and willingly, and each of them inspired me in a different way. What grounded and strong leaders they are. Just beautiful people who saw a need and used their brilliance and passion to meet it.
To my new whānau, I come away feeling that the deep sharing and the shedding of one or two onion layers, took us to an emotional treasure box that was only meant for us. It certainly wasn't easy but we held each other close as we each navigated our way through our first retreat experience together. Couldn't ask for better people to go through this experience with.
My Ako, we've spent many precious minutes together. It instantly felt good in their presence and the acceptance early on has been such a relief. A beautiful wairua has surrounded us and I know it will carry us all the way to the end and beyond.
No reira, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa.